


Leap Of Faith

by TiaKisu



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 07:23:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19901962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiaKisu/pseuds/TiaKisu
Summary: “Why are you doing this?” The words are out before he can even decide on speaking them. May hesitates, if but for the fragment of a heartbeat. “Tilly trusts me.”Missing scene for S2E5 "Saints of Imperfection"





	Leap Of Faith

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a discussion on the Discord that raised the question what it would have been like for Hugh to follow May and have to trust her while the Discovery was leaving. And long story short, this is what my head came up with.

It hurts.

They touch him and it _hurts_. His skin burns, the muscles beneath it contracting spasmodically wherever one of them gets too close. They are eating him alive, and he invited them in.

In front of him … May? Tilly called her May. She pauses just a second, frowns deeply before she resumes racing down Discovery's corridors, pulling him along with her.  
Her smaller body trembles. She tries to find the quickest way out. He could tell her but he remains silent.

Her grip on him is strong, alien, and endlessly uncomfortable. Hugh hates the feeling of her hand in his. He wants Paul's back. His hands always felt perfect and warm and safe.

They still do.

May's hands are small and cold and they are shaking just like his own. Why is he even going with her? She is one of _them_. She wanted him dead. Just like the others.

_Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! You promised!_

His heart starts racing.  
  
He is alone with her. The bark on his skin is coming off in flakes. What if...  
  
The closer they get to the exit the more of her kind start filling the air. Their bite _stings_ and without Paul there to ground him the panic returns.

He has to get away.  
  
 _The trees. They don't dare follow him there. If only he can get to the_ trees _._

Maybe if he yanks his hand free he can escape. He's done it before, so many times. But something is different now. It pulls at the edge of his memory, fresh and raw and so very _important_.

 _I'll see you on the other side._  
  
He has to keep on moving.

Around, Discovery shudders and groans. He can hear the alarms blare, a sound distorted like it was filtered through water.  
  
Black alert.  
  
May increases her speed. They have to get out of here or he'll simply disappear - dissolve into a flock of shining blue particles. No consciousness. No pain. There is a part of him which relishes the idea of that.  
  
It's the same part that startles when she suddenly hisses, “What are you doing?”  
  
He turns to look at her - for the first time truly takes her in, notices her agitated expression. He didn't even realise he'd slowed down.  
  
“If we don't leave now there's no way I can help you! If I can help you at all.”  
  
She is scowling at him. Her eyes are wild and frightened, but why?  
  
“Why are you doing this?” The words are out before he can even decide on speaking them.  
  
May hesitates, if but for the fragment of a heartbeat. “Tilly trusts me.”

He won't get more in terms of an answer, he knows that much. The human face she has chosen for herself is scrunched up, but the urgency and conviction in her voice is all he really needed to hear. It's good enough a reason for him. And so he nods, follows her out into the open - as fast as he can.

Behind them Discovery lifts from the ground no sooner than they have left the perimeter, the massive and beautiful shape twisting around its axis as it leaves the network behind.

Hugh flinches.

Now that the ship departs the network there is only one foreign body for the JahSepp to break down. And he can feel them start the hunt.

“No! Leave him alone! There is another way!”  
  
May's scream sounds next to him, and for a second he hopes they'll listen to her. But he has done too much harm. How can he expect them to show mercy?

 _To him, you're the_ monster _._

That's what they saw in him. What he had seen in them, too. He had not known, though. That they were sentient, that they only tried to maintain the balance. To protect their world.  
  
Some of them tear through the skin on his neck and for a moment he cannot breathe. May storms towards them, shouts at her own kind but he cannot hear her words any longer. He sees the forest in the distance.  
  
His footprints are there, from when he ran towards the ship. Not away from it. They lead up to where he stands now, black droplets ascending from every single indentation. The air above them is empty, and dead and silent.  
  
His pulse throbs in his ears.

He _killed_ them. So many of them. Why would they ever let him pass? From their perspective he _is_ a monster. But then he is moving again, his legs following a command he has not given them.  
  
May is all but shoving him forwards, keeping her kind at bay while avoiding to touch the parts of his arms that are still wearing his armour.  
  
“I'm sorry.”  
  
He cannot even be sure he really says it out loud, but there is something in the way May's shoulders tense that makes him think he does. And then they are running again. He drops his shoes midway, accepts the cuts and the bruises because he will _not_ take any more of their lives than he already did.

They are chasing through the mycelia, her leading the way, until at last she stops dead in her tracks.  
  
Before him lies a cocoon. Dark and _breathing_ and utterly terrifying.  
  
May crouches down and the side opens like a hungry mouth.  
  
“I can not promise you this will work.” Dark brown eyes look up at him. There's nothing but honesty in them, and for the first time Hugh doesn't feel as afraid any more.  
  
“What if this goes wrong?”

A moment of silence. Then:

“I don't know.”  
  
She doesn't lie to him. He appreciates that.  
  
As he lowers himself to her level, prepares to get into what will either be his gateway back or his final demise, May clears her throat.  
  
“If you make it,” she bites her lips briefly, “please tell Tilly that I won't forget her. And... I hope you'll be happy with your Stamets.”

His brows furrow of their own volition. She doesn't say it but he can read it in her nevertheless.  
  
_I hope this was all worth it._  
  
His pain. Their agony. The destruction he caused.  
  
He wants to assure her that he will – tell Tilly, and be happy - and maybe she sees it in his eyes too, but he doesn't find the words to express that for her to hear. Instead, the only thing that he is able to give is a forlorn, “Thank you.”

It echoes between them as he crawls inside, as he lies down and tries to concentrate on his breathing.

In and out. In. And. Out.

The cocoon closes around him.

He thinks of Paul. Pictures his outstretched hand, his smile.

If this thing ends up killing him, Hugh at least wants to go with _him_ on his mind.  
  
_And_ _I'm here now. And here's my hand._  
  
In his head, again, he takes it.

  
Then, he disappears.


End file.
